Debunking the rhetoric and validity of the so-called scientific method.

It appears the tree huggers and those hippie liberal environmentalists were right, at least according to a recent study highlighted by the BBC, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4391835.stm. But I don't think that the fundamentalist Christians and their enforcement arm, the right wing neoconservatives ever really thought they were wrong. In fact according to their ideology the destruction of the earth is preceding at it's biblically predetermined pace.

After all as it’s stated in revelations, the end times are upon us, at least according to CBN (Christian Broadcasting Network). I've been hearing them talk about the end times being near since the 1980s, every time there's anything resembling a crisis anywhere on the planet, it's time to start repenting our sins and killing off the endangered species.

Christian philosophy has always positioned man as the masters of the earth, possessing exclusive rights to its resources, to use or abuse as we see fit. After all if everything on earth was placed here by the hand of God for man's use, if we want to squander it, we can squander it. Therefore there is no legitimate reason to conserve or preserve anything, because it's our personal property, and it's all going to be swept away in the fires of Armageddon soon anyway. Therefore we have no reason to fight the hastening of its destruction, and in fact Christian fundamentalists themselves seem to have a vested interest in bringing about that destruction. So burn those fossil fuels, cut down those forests, pollute that water and wipe out every species, because it's all part of God's plan.

This idea has drawn many allies, most noticeably the forces of industry which rely on natural resources and do the majority of the polluting as well. Christian doctrine is very convenient in regard to the needs of industry, and their advocates are always quickest to point out the bad science of these leftist pseudoscientists. All that nonsense about evolution and global warming and using that heathenistic scientific method in an attempt to prove their crackpot theories, is all just the work of atheists and Satan's minions, those who are going against the will of God.

Of course some would say that these folks are only interested in making a profit, and recently Professor Sir John Lawton, former chief executive of The UK's Natural Environment Research Council, said the these gainsayers have about the same credibility as the flat Earthers and people who believe smoking doesn't cause cancer, but of course he's biased. Just another one of those mad scientists who gets all their information from books other than the Bible, and makes his living with that science stuff, another blasphemer who will burn in the everlasting fires of hell, with only the devil for company, let him tell Beelzebub about evolution and conservation after he's been culled along with all the other heretics.

According to these so-called scientists, it still isn't too late to turn away from the path of unsustainability human beings are headed for, but then we'll only be prolonging what has already been preordained. We must beat Mother Earth into submission as if she were a lipy wife, after all God is the boss around here, and if you've got the nerve to mouth off to him, you deserve a crack in the chops.

Never let it be said that I don't support fairness and equal time to both sides, therefore if you'd like to check out the conservative view, take a look at, <http://www.e-sheep.com/rusheats/> it's very enlightening.

Terri Schiavo: America's patron saint of bulimia

After much contemplation and soul-searching, surpassing even that of Pinellas County circuit court Judge George Greer, I've come to the inescapable conclusion that Terri Schiavo got exactly what she wanted, deserved and most feared.

As an alleged bulimic, who was attempting to gain control over her life while at the same time gaining much needed recognition for her outer beauty, she wound up purging herself into cardiac arrest. Apparently bulimics as a group have less gray matter in their brain case than the average human, but I think she took it too far with a 25% reduction in brain volume.

Although the bulimic Terri would be delighted at the loss of weight achieved through this liquefying of brain matter, unfortunately her actual weight has been horrifyingly increased by her lack of activity. In her current state she has achieved the equivalent of an overfed frozen butterball turkey. It is perhaps fortunate that she is unaware of her current condition. Conversely it's unfortunate that the Terri who craved recognition will never know the worldwide fame she's achieved. How proud she would be. Oh, the irony.

According to all those Republican and Christian fundamentalist pundits out there, Terri Schiavo has been crying out for help over the last 11 days. Of course she speaks only in tongues which seemingly only her parents can interpret. But I did hear a recording of her voice posted by that esteemed seeker of truth, Matt Drudge, and I believe I could just hear Terri saying "Those liberal bastards are killing me, save me from these godless heathens," the interpretation of these utterances having been confirmed by evangelical serpent handlers across the nation .

She's also been compared to concentration camp victims, in her current emaciated condition, after just a week without food. Presently she's down to 230 pounds already, and dwindling fast. At this rate she'll be looking good again in about two months, perhaps achieving her former purging weight of 120 pounds by early June.

Protesters outside the hospice have heard her cries as well, and made plans to rush the facility in an attempt to free Terri from her ungodly torment. The frontline of those courageous individuals is composed of cripples and mental defectives, who are preparing to send their wheelchairs and stretchers hurtling at insane velocities towards the double doors of her prison, in hopes of breaking through and freeing their sister.

Those same freedom fighters who once condemned the Republican right for doing everything in their power to crush the Americans with Disabilities Act, now realize that those right minded conservatives were just looking out for their well-being, and have taken them on as unlikely allies. They realize now how important it is to keep their mangled and dwindling bodies out of the line of sight of the beautiful people. Because those forward thinking conservatives knew all along how their less fortunate brethren must be protected from the scorn and ridicule of an unfeeling public. But underneath our disgust I suspect is the underlying fear that we ourselves could one day wind up like Terri Schiavo or perhaps Christopher Reeve, and become a constant reminder of the dangers of flaunting gods will (that's what you get for playing Superman or worshiping at the altar of beauty). And let's face it, no one wants to be reminded of those possibilities. Better we keep the physically infirm and mentally incompetent locked up in institutions where they belong lest they become an affront to our sensibilities.

Recently it's been revealed that poor Terri's skeleton shows a history of shattered bones, discerned through the use of the ancient method of divining rods, being practiced by experts outside her room at the hospice. These injuries were apparently sustained at the hands of that monstrous husband of hers. It isn't hard to believe that he was a wife beater and an abuser of women. In all likelihood Terri's condition was the result of a failed attempt by Michael to finish her off for good. He just couldn't stand that smell of vomit breath, and her tendency to soil the sheets after drinking a six-pack of Ex-Lax before bedtime, and made up his mind to do her in. But Terri is a fighter and she refuse to succumb.

Tragically with the help of that liberal bastard Judge Greer, who pretends to be a Christian right to life advocate, Michael Schiavo will finally be able to finish off his angelic wife, while the brothers Bush, governor and president respectively, stand idly by their hands tied and powers rendered impotent by the bloodthirsty Liberals. Much the way the noble Romans were forced to acquiesce to the baying of the Jews for the blood of Christ. And history repeats itself. Oh for shame, what's happened to America?

But as all good Christians know, Terri will rise from her grave, just as Jesus did. She has made the ultimate sacrifice for our sins, and she will surely be rewarded with a ride in God's chariot straight up that express elevator to the kingdom of heaven.

Fox news, sex offenders and losers. Plus Black heritage stamps.

THE FOX NEWS (PANDERING PROPAGANDA) REPORT:

I recently noticed a Fox reporter speaking about the murder of Jessica Lunsford by convicted sex offender John Evander Couey. The reporter referred to Couey as a "loser." I was wondering if it was the fact that he was a child molester and murder that made him a loser or the fact that he was apparently staying in a trailer owned by his sister, the implication of trailer trash being present.

If it was the former and not the latter, why doesn't Fox news refer to Michael Jackson as a loser, or for that matter the whole host of American businessmen and CEOs who travel to Thailand, Malaysia and other places in Southeast Asia every year to have sex with young boys and girls.

Seldom are these people ever exposed since they keep their activity confined to places outside the United States (as far as anyone knows) going to great lengths to hide their trips to these places, choosing to fly to Europe first before hopping a flight to the sex bars of Bangkok.

Perhaps being a child molester does not inculcate you into loserdom the way being a financial failure or living in a trailer does. I guess when it comes to the our government, this seems to be the case since according to the Fox reporter Wendy Murphy, these people are allowed to continue their sexual abuse and murder of children because "children don't vote and they don't have any money".


REGARDING THE POST OFFICES CONTINUATION OF BLACK HERITAGE STAMPS:

While we often see stamps honoring Martin Luther King, Harriet Tubman, Jackie Robinson, Scott Joplin, Malcolm X. etc. why is it that we never see the little people being honored in a stamp, or anything else for that matter.

How about a Black heritage stamp that pays tribute to how the majority of African-Americans once lived in this country, perhaps portraying a slave driving a mule with the Capitol (capitalism) dome in the background. Shouldn't African-Americans get their props for providing the labor that founded this country?

The slogan, "once we were Kings" came into vogue some years ago within the African-American community. How about taking some pride in being a slave, and being the present day survivors of those who continued their existence under conditions of hopelessness. In my mind there is no comparison between the ignobility of someone who survives by the subjugation of others, as monarchs do, and the true nobility of someone who survives by providing service to others with no remuneration whatsoever. Wake up Black people!

Bush going commie,The honorable lobbyist William G. Myers III

Why is it that the Bush administration insists on choosing judges that they know are biased (rhetorical question). Not just a little bit bias, but deep down in the bone prejudicial bias. I guess I'm old-fashioned but I always thought judges were supposed to be impartial. But George Dubya insists on nominating candidates who were formerly lobbyists for special-interest groups, such as William G. Myers III, recently renominated to the Ninth Circuit in San Francisco, Myers initial nomination failed to be confirmed the first time around.

Now I've known my share of lobbyists, but I've yet to meet one that's been burdened with anything resembling impartiality. Actually I think that's the point of being a lobbyist, to advocate for one specific group or approach, often with a reckless disregard for every other consideration. I have to think if the founding fathers knew that a lobbyist was being nominated for one of the highest courts in the land, they would start rising from their graves to march on Washington. Perhaps George Washington himself, bones and all, would come knocking at the White House door for an explanation.

I must say, it sounds much like communism to me. Where a totalitarian regime chooses judges that will support the states immediate concerns, to the exclusion of all else including Justice, the people's interests and the rule of law. The Chinese have just such a system, perhaps Georgie is trying to emulating the Red Chinese and their evil Machiavellian ways?

Apparently this appointment is the administration's response to landowners, specifically owners of massive tracts of land in the West, who say they are being "oppressed" by federal environmental regulators. According to his past statements, Mr. Myers agrees that the rights of these poor suffering multimillionaires and conglomerates are being trampled by environmental regulations... environmental regulations that the Bush administration has already chosen to throw out the window. But these ranching and mining interests are still not satisfied and have continued their appeals for relief to King George. Mr. Myers has likened the tyranny of the nearly gutted current system to what the American colonials faced under the reign of Britain's King George (coincidence that the two are related? I think not). He wants to get that imperial boot of the Federal regulatory commissions off the necks of the strip miners and the polluters, especially after they paid him millions to act as their advocate.

If Myers is appointed perhaps we'll see a revolution on the bench in California, and a new Boston Tea Party in San Francisco Bay. We can all go down and watch as he throws the current environmental laws into the bay, to be swept away under the Golden Gate Bridge and out to sea, never to be seen again.

Conservatives like to rail against the so-called activist judges, judges who stubbornly insists on incessantly weighing the issues and applying those pesky federal laws before deciding against letting some special-interest group walk all over the rights of the US citizens, and raping our remaining pristine natural wilderness. Mr. Myers on the other hand will only put on a pretense of hearing both sides of the argument before coming to a predetermined conclusion. In his courtroom, those annoying rule crazy federal environmental regulators won't even be allowed on the premises to voice their puny objections. But if they do somehow make it past the bailiffs, he'll quickly have them gagged and thrown into jail for contempt of court, if they dare try doing their jobs. And they'll be lucky to get off that easy, because I'm sure if he had his way they'd be tarred and feathered if not lynched outright. They'll be none of that monkey business in his courtroom so often found in the courtroom of judges appointed by previous administrations.

But according to his supporters, Mr. Myers won't be affected by his past views, because they're going to have his mind cleansed... of all preconceptions and ideological dogma. So when he takes the bench it will be with a clean slate, a mind totally devoid... of anything. But it must be asked, is that really necessary, because according to Arlen Specter, Mr. Myers should be confirmed precisely because of his beliefs. It would seem the Conservatives are advocating the selection of people who will make judgments based not on the law or what's best for our nation, but on their own personal ideology. Somehow this sounds remarkably familiar, making decisions based on belief as opposed to facts, judgment or justice. Perhaps we'll see an overhaul of the entire judicial system, where we won't even need laws at all anymore; everyone will just make decisions founded on their own internal morality and bank accounts. My, my, what an exciting time for jurisprudence this will be, truly a (conservative) revolution.

Propaganda, hyperbole, Machiavelli and Bush reproduction

I'm constantly in danger of getting booted off this site, because far too often I can't help myself from calling people on their BS. To refer to them as writers is overly generous, more like purveyors of poorly conceived nonsensical rhetoric and limping propaganda, at times concealing some clandestine agenda (though often unrealized even by themselves). Anyone who reads my writing knows exactly where I stand on a number of subjects. I have no need to hide behind cleverly worded rhetorical drivel. Ask me a straight question and I'll give you a straight answer. My heartland values won't allow me to try and slip some overly stylized, cleverly worded (if not if not particularly literate) veil over my intent, feelings and ideas. Mostly I try to ignore these charlatans, but then I remember, all that is necessary for tyranny to triumph, is for good people to do nothing. Whether I am good people is debatable, but I try.

I've become accustomed to listening for those code words often woven into the tissue papers of hyperbole. Words that just kinda’ wash over you like a wave of overly homogenized milk; rather opaque and impenetrable until it's dissipation leaves you with a thin wet sheen glistening all over your consciousness, which if not quickly washed away will soon sour and harden, leaving your mind encrusted with a layer of wreaking decaying antimatter. These concentrations of pseudo-subversive ideas presenting themselves as something new (actually just the rehashing of same old crap) must at times be confronted, for my mind to find its peace. If you swim in this ocean long enough, this thirst quenching propaganda’s incredulity loses all palpability and you may be tempted to drink deep from that teat. But suckling that decaying cream leads down the path of pretense, lies and fear which so often has led to the death and destruction of innocents, and leaves me with heartburn (I've got acid reflux). Some would say this is the way of man, to destroy, and for all practical purposes this can hardly be denied. But all too often those who are mesmerized by the propaganda are those in power. And their decisions invariably lead to conflagrations involving millions when their Machiavellian tendencies emerge.

I'd rather speak for those who can't speak for themselves, the "people" (not "the folks") who do the majority of living and dying and crying in this world. Those people who go unseen and unrecognized under the noses of the movers and shakers. But without them, the wheels of this world would quickly come to a halt. My neoconservative buddies like to tell me these people provide an important service, freeing up the lives of the ruling class, providing them with leisure time so necessary for thought and reflection, thereby advancing the forces of civilization. So they believe there is a vested interest in keeping people ignorant, a large number of people in fact so that they can do what is best for all, and winter in Aruba.

Actually I think Niccolo Machiavelli must be doing back flips in his grave over how his writings have been distorted. The poor guy, all he wanted in the end was a job with the Medicis. I imagine him sitting around with Jesus as they commiserate about how it all went so terribly wrong, over cappuccinos (with double B&Bs on the side).

But I can't really fault the ultra conservatives because after all someone has to fight the evils of multiculturalism, intermarriage and Affirmative Action. But I have to draw the line when they start talking about repealing the Civil Rights Act and The Voting Rights Act (but I guess that one doesn't really matter since they've already gotten around it). Maybe we'll get the poll tax we back again. Because technically it is constitutional and why should the government pay for those expensive elections we have. Let the people who want to vote, pay for it, just like they used to. Best to get government out of everything, education, health care, incarceration, law enforcement, Social Security etc. just let those market forces take over. Let the government concentrate on wars, taking over territory and infiltrating other governments, all those social services are just draining our war machine. If you're going to be an empire, then be an empire, after all we're not the British, we are Americans we'll bring a new meaning to the word.

I was once fearful of corporation’s takeover of everything, but that's just a pipe dream, we'll do it the old-fashioned way. Just go out there and kick everybody's ass and take all their Shit, leave them sitting in a pile of mud and blood where they came from. After all, the Romans did it, dismantled the Republic and replace it with Augustus. All hail Caesar (King George), for those who are about to die we salute you. But beware the Ides of March Caesar for your Marc Anthony (Colin Powell) has quit his job in disgust. And Brutus (Cheney) doth stand too close at hand. Et tu, Dickey?

But just as those purveyors would have you believe, as long as it's done in the name of God, Jesus, Allah, America etc., you are surely on the side of right and good, no matter what you should do flying one of those banners, it is for the best. You are sure to forgiven if you are truly repentant. And if you buy that, I've got a thousand Vestal virgins who will suck your Saint Peter till you are emptied and cleansed of the last ejaculatetory remnant of mortal sin and your soul goes completely flaccid.

The idea of original sin is rather fascinating but confusing to me. It is pervasive throughout Christian thought, the belief that you were born with sin upon your head. I always wondered does this sin begin at the moment of conception. The moment when that foul hard drinking, pot smoking, coke sniffing fly-boy lothario of a spermatozoa (who for the sake of expediency I will refer to as George), burst through the virginal lipid barrier of the innocent, untouched, chased, librarian, teacher egg (who I will refer to as Laura)? Here's how I imagine their conversation

George --"Well hello little lady… Did you know I was a jet pilot...? That's right; I was a hotshot in Alabama. Fighter planes actually… almost went to Vietnam. -in that Texas drawl- I really wanted to go, even tried to get my dad to pull some strings for me, but they said I didn't have enough flight time (none actually). So I just stayed here and hung out, just waiting for you to come along darlin’. Damn you look good, like a Texas sunflower. Here, just look at my tail, you gotta have a tale like this to be a fighter pilot."

Laura --"Please, give me a break, you know how many Georges I've seen today, and they've all got the same tired line, maybe if you picked up a book once in a while we'd have something to talk about. But all you've done lately is get wasted and party with the good old boys. I can't believe you actually went to Yale. And pretending like you're not interested in having a political career, ha, when everyone knows you will. I'm hoping I'll find something better actually."

George --"Okie Doke, but don't you know who my daddy is? Don't you know we're related to the kings of England (but not the Queens, none of their good sense of course), we are destined to rule; it's built into my genetic structure. Don't you want to hook up with a meat eater? I really know how to barbecue, I am from Texas ya’ know (not really, but he is a true Texakin)."

Laura --"Oh, I can just see it now, we'll make an offspring, and I'll have to watch them on TV when they get busted for drugs, or what ever it is that you do. I don't need that drama. Just my luck you're caring all that crappy DNA." No thanks I think I'll just let you join your brothers over there. See them down there all those little Georges that got here before you, they're just too pooped to pop now. And you'll be joining them soon! When they first showed up I was a little flattered, all of them rubbing up against me wiggling their tails in my face, but after awhile it just got to be a pain, and some of them were really nasty, you wouldn't believe the stuff they said to me, talking about their barnyard sex fantasies, sheesh. So I don't think so I ain't into chickens."

George --"What's the matter with you hunn’, don't you want to be a zygote? You know what happens to spinster eggs that refuse penetration don't you? You'll get fleshed out in the next douche. So I'm guessin’ you must be a prude, too good to combine with the next president of the United States (Georgie goes for broke)."

Laura --"Yeah yeah, keep flapping your gums big boy. How is a guy who can't run a second rate baseball team going to become the most powerful leader on the planet?" -though secretly she is taken with his bravado-

George --"I know I know, I don't look too bright, but I've got a plan. I'm the man with the plan don't you see," he says puffing his cell membrane out.

Laura --"Well you are hung like a white blood cell, and I'm not getting any younger here. I guess I'll have to give in to one of you sooner or later, so bring that whip stocker over here and start priming the pump big fella. But I'll tell you right now before we go any further; I'm not making any boys. I'm not taking that chance".

Georgia --"Aw come on, I've simply gotta have another Bush to carry on the tradition."

Laura --"Sorry, I'm not helping to perpetuate some patriarchal monarchy, on this I stand as firm as the Rock of Gibraltar, so you wanna get busy or what?
-Tapping her mitochondria impatiently-

The rest of course is reproductive history.

Or possibly it's the moment of birth where sin is imprinted upon you, as your mouth and lips and penis rub so incestuously along your mother's vaginal tract, squeezing and grinding and shaking you until you are expelled from her sexual orifice. Is it any wonder that we all spend the rest of our lives trying to get back there? Or at least the heterosexuals, because the sissy boys will take no pleasure in this passage, so I guess they are relieved of that early burden of sin. For in all likelihood this will be the last time they will travel those hallowed halls. But the lesbians must also bear the same weight of sin as we boys from this act -- for they too will know the never ending hunger for coochy. Somehow it doesn't seem fair that the girls and the girls who like girls get a pass. But nobody said this sin stuff was fair.

Bring back slavery, Asa Hutchinson, illegal immigrants and McDonald's

This first installment is dedicated to the late great Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, possibly the first and last of the self realized freethinking maverick journalists, a true warrior poet. I spark a bowl to your memory Duke.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While I was watching C-SPAN (along with the three other people on the planet) the other day, Homeland Security Undersecretary for Border and Transportation Security, Asa Hutchinson was being asked about illegal immigrants in Danbury Connecticut by a woman on the call-in line. He proceeded with a well rehearsed recitation of what's being done to curtail this activity, but he failed to mentioned why all those illegal immigrants are flooding the streets of Utah, Colorado, California, and the Northeast. They're coming because no self-respecting American will work for $5.15 an hour any longer. These immigrants take and keep the jobs that your average US teenager will only lower themselves to do for a week or two before getting their check and never showing up again. Leaving the manager stranded while they go back to playing with their Xbox’s and text messaging their friends -- no real motivation there. But a woman from Guatemala with three kids will think twice before she gives you any lip when you tell her she must stay till 2 a.m. to clean up, and then be back in the morning at 6 a.m. She's just glad to get those leftover hamburgers (that she only has to pay half-price for) to take home to her kids, which are fattening up nicely.

Although this quasi-underground illegal labor force has always existed in the United States, and surely Texas and Florida would still be wastelands without them, only now are they spreading to those rather isolated communities that were once so blissfully ignorant of these invading hordes. But we can't afford to round up these foreigners and run them out of town on a rail yet, because then who will work the 7-11s, and the nursing homes, and the vegetable station in the kitchen of my favorite restaurant. But the Homeland security Department is under pressure to put an end to this (okay well not really). But if they were serious about enforcing the law, things would change with frightening rapidity across this country.

Perhaps it's time we took a hard look at bring back slavery (everywhere but in the south of course because they've already had their share). Why not take advantage of all these people dying in the Sudan. There's a huge untapped resource that could be enlisted to take care of our kids, clean our houses and work our jobs, so we can concentrate our efforts on the important things like watching NASCAR, drinking beer and abusing our women. All we need do is feed those poor ignorant bastards. Come on, I mean they're going to die anyway; we'll be doing them a favor and continuing a proud tradition in the bargain. The South will rise again in Philadelphia and Kennebunkport and Portland and Grass Valley and Wyoming. It was after all the American way, and why should we continue with this pretense at maintaining an independent labor force. Think of the lives we'll save and how grateful they'll be. They'll hardly even mind when we sell off their teenagers to run our fast food establishments.

Never underestimate the power of burgers and fries. Mickey Dees need only erect a restaurant in the Darfur region and we'll have those darkies lining up faster than you can say free hamburgers. The Sudan is ripe for corporate exploitation in this regard, after all how many places in the world can you go and buy a woman for a Big Mac and a Coke, that's better than Vegas. Corporate hacks will be quick to negotiate the lowest possible price for a starving infant, driving the exchange rate down to a profitable 1 to 1 (one African kid for one Happy Meal).


Hell, we won't even have to waste our good Argentinian beef and sawdusty buns on those poor starving bastards. They'll be delighted with a blender full of maggot milkshake and a side of bull testicle purée they serve on Fear Factor. Surely they'll be grateful to God for the high-quality protein. What a steal this will be for the Golden Arches, but they don't call him the Hamburglar for nothing. Carnival Cruise Lines can establish a whole new oceanic route, transporting our new workforce across the Atlantic -- the middle passage revisited. And they'll be no need for those costly frills and amenities like beds and bathrooms and Windows. Just pack them in and chain them down, like we did in the good old days. I can't see an Arkansas son of the South like Asa Hutchinson objecting to that.

Another lady asked Asa why we can't use "a non-federalized National Guard" to protect our borders from illegal immigration. Hutchinson showed no hesitation in supporting the use of troops inside US borders, within reason of course. How exciting it will be having heavily armed teenagers straight out Pizza Hut and Papa John's roaming US streets miss-quoting George C. Scott playing George S. Patton, "I'm here to make the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."

But what Asa carefully avoided mentioning, is that this would never be feasible because nobody's pizzas or dry-cleaning or sod or drinks would ever arrive in a timely manner. And tens of thousands of toddlers will be wandering the street unsupervised after their nannies are picked up and packed off to concentration camps to await deportation. That's all America needs, a bunch of delinquent tots becoming highway fodder, and some overzealous West Virginia national guardsmen shooting out my tires while I'm trying to pick up the maid. But on the bright side, with the new slave trade you'll have no problem acquiring a cheap replacement for your run over infant, as long as you don't mind the dark complexion.